"What about...?" - Questions and Answers

Wow. It's hard to believe that November is drawing to a close! Thank you all for sticking with me as I share some of what we've learned about adoption! Anytime someone does something "different" there are always lots of questions! Adoption and adoption laws have changed a lot in the past 50 years. 

(These first two questions are from a dear friend, Susette.)
"Hey, I read your article about "open adoption" and it is very good. I'm wondering if you are in an organization that is primarily Christian. Does this birth mother "want" a Christian family to take her child?

Choosing the agency was probably one of the most difficult decisions we have made in regards to adoption - there are so many wonderful agencies! After much prayer, we decided to go with Buckner Children and Family Services. One of the things that drew us to Buckner was the fact that they have been around for a long time (founded in 1879) and have a lot of experience in adoption.

Cabin where Dr. R. C. Buckner (founder of Buckner) was born.

Buckner is a Christian agency, so when a birth mother contacts them, usually it is with the desire for her child to be raised by a Christian family. If it isn't her primary reason, she is certainly made aware that the prospective adoptive parents she will consider will be raising that child in an Christian home.

I guess I am wondering if the birth mother can tell you that she doesn't like the way you are raising her child and make demands of you that would go contrary to your convictions.

After the birth parents relinquish their rights (after a 48 hr. waiting period after the birth for the birth mother and up to 30 correction: 31 days for the birth father), we become the ones making parenting choices for the baby. After the finalization (usually at 6 months) we will no longer be under our agency's supervision. The child will then be legally our child, just as if it were our birth child. For example, if we were adopting an older child, we would not be able to use corporal punishment as a method for discipline until the adoption is final. Spanking wouldn't be necessary for the first 6 months of life anyway... :)


I get a lot of questions as to exactly when we will have our little one. Good question! :) Right now we are on "hold." In order to complete our home study, there are certain things that have to be done around the house. (Such as repairing a fence!) Mark has been taking two Master level courses this semester and his "handyman" time has been quite limited. Hopefully we will be ready for our next home study visit in a few weeks. Honestly, this has been a little frustrating for me. It seems like we hurry! hurry! only to have to wait some more. But then I remember that the timing has never been out of God's control. He has the right birthmother and child there for us, and we will meet up with them in His time, not our own. God isn't up in heaven saying "oops. they weren't ready for that one yet..." :)



Of course, we aren't entirely on hold. There are still things we can be working on - like the scrapbook style "picture profile" that birthmothers will see when selecting an adoptive family. Oh, and of course the fun of designing a nursery - I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to that! :)


Thank you, once again, for all of your encouragement! Your support means so much, and will continue to mean so much to us as we continue down our adoption journey. We never know just what the future holds, but we do know Who holds the future. His plans are always to give us a "hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)